How often are you looking for something? If you’re like me, it’s pretty often! Additionally, how often do you feel a sense of guilt that you haven’t responded to all of those texts from family or friends? Emails left sitting in your inbox because they were too “stressful” to deal with at the moment?
You’re not alone here.
The phrase “out of sight, out of mind” has never been more applicable to people with ADHD, and it’s often a source of shame for many. Basically, the ADHDer’s brain has difficulty with maintaining an awareness of an object or person when they are not regularly present and visible; in other words, keeping your vitamins nestled in a drawer is suitable for organization, but it can be counterproductive when you want to take them consistently.
We are often stuck in a rock/hard place situation of remaining organized and tidy, but when items are out of plain view, they are easier to forget.
There are a lot of blog posts circulating around the internet about “object permanence” issues with ADHD; however, these are misrepresenting both object permanency and ADHD symptoms. Object permanence is a developmental milestone in infants as they establish that the external world exists outside their existence.
It’s why “peekaboo” is such a fun game for them; when you cover your face, you “disappear” for a moment until you uncover or “reappear.”
Object permanence is also linked to attachment with parents or caregivers and why infants cry when they leave the room. Until object permanence is established, the infant believes the adult has vanished.
Object Constancy in ADHD
The more accurate label here is constancy and not permanence for ADHDers; we’ve long since developed object permanence. The fresh fruit in your fridge that goes bad? The struggling relationships because of communication breakdowns? Your car keys that always seem to be missing?
Object constancy and forgetfulness in ADHD.
My wife and I have differing viewpoints on keeping items organized and tidy; it’s the same situation as our respective preferences for keeping cabinet doors open or closed when cooking.
I keep cabinet doors open as a visual reminder to put spices back, and having them grouped off to the side is not enough of a visual stimulus to remember.
However, when too many cabinets are open or excessive items are left on the counter, I overlook them.
Inattentiveness in ADHD
This is another unofficial term for ADHD that you might see floating around on social media - item blindness. Similar to “time blindness,” object blindness refers to items left in plain sight that are still overlooked or “ignored” even when passing them numerous times in a day. For me, it’s my daughter’s socks or hat left on the kitchen counter. I get her ready for school, and often, there are last-minute outfit changes resulting in additional clothing items collecting on the counter. Those items might as well stay there all day!
Similarly, if I don’t bring the mail in immediately, it will stay in my car indefinitely. My car sometimes becomes a defacto storage container.
We are dealing with difficulties with memory recall and maintaining an active representation of the item/person in question in our conscious mind. Dr. John Kruse goes into this further by stating:
“People with ADHD don’t have impairment with actual object permanence. They know the items still exist somewhere, even when out of sight. They are just less likely to maintain an active representation of the item in their conscious awareness. The use of the term object permanence, in the context of ADHD, implies a more fundamental disturbance in cognitive abilities than that displayed by those with ADHD.
We usually define object constancy as the ability to maintain a positive emotional bond with another even where distance and conflicts intrude. The term object constancy comes from Object Relations Theory, which studies the attachment patterns humans develop during the first few years of life, and explores how people comprehend and interact with themselves and others. Confusingly, the “object” of object constancy refers primarily to people, unlike the objects of “object permanence” which include all material things.”
Dr. Kruse also includes the phrase, “in sight, but no insight” – I also enjoyed this. I took it to mean that I might visually see the clutter, but no internal alarms were ringing to prompt me to clean it up.
I see the emails in my inbox, the texts on my phone, and dishes piled in the sink, and yet, I do not have the initiative to take on any of these challenges at that moment.
“I’ll respond to this later” is the same productivity kill as “I’ll just sit down for a moment before getting started.”
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Forgetfulness as Part of ADHD
If you have ADHD or know someone with ADHD, you probably already know where this section is going. Forgetfulness is losing things constantly, missing appointments or showing up late, walking into rooms unsure as to why you did so, and having difficulty recalling memories on command.
Pre-heating the oven and forgetting about it for an hour or leaving coffee mugs in different rooms, resulting in cold coffees everywhere.
I once put my newborn’s bottles into a pot to boil and sterilize, only to sit down and forget about the pot for over 40 minutes. The water was almost entirely boiled away, but thankfully, the plastic wasn’t ruined.
Part of my internal mourning process for having ADHD is the idea that I will inevitably forget important experiences in my life if there is no record of them occurring. My daughter’s first steps were recorded on video, so I have those memories, but if I had only my memories, many aspects would have been internally lost or misplaced.
How well you encode information is directly related to your ability to focus and selectively maintain that line of focus.
When my daughter was taking her first steps, my focus was on her steps but also focusing on her well-being; it often becomes a duel between two (or more) competing stimuli. This is all coupled with heightened emotions happening at the moment.
Working Memory Issues and Object Constancy
Going back to the “out of sight, out of mind” phrase, neurodiverse people like those with ADHD can and do struggle with consistency in their executive functioning. Executive functioning requires purposeful and deliberate focusing, prioritization, planning, and organization efforts to problem-solve, make decisions, and evaluate progress or change up the strategy. However, like with a now cold cup of coffee on the counter, it’s not a matter of its permanence in the world; it’s about a person’s ability to maintain their line of focus on that item. Jillian Enright makes a compelling case about why we must stop using “object permanence” to explain ADHD memory struggles. Enright highlights three sub-categories of working memory, notably visual-spatial as a key sub-category of working memory that might help contextualize this further.
How we use and maintain visual images and spatial information in our conscious mind when problem-solving.
Car keys, phone, significant other, course syllabus, etc.
We know these items or people haven’t ceased to exist; we are “blind” to their immediate proximity due to the internal static from incoming sensory stimuli.
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How to Combat Object Constancy Issues
When it comes to difficulties remembering things, it’s often best not to rely solely on your brain. We already know of the difficulties people with ADHD have when it comes to executive functioning and maintaining focus to get stuff done. However, that doesn’t mean it cannot happen; it’s just a matter of finding the best way for you!
Meditation and mindfulness exercises may help to realign your focus, quiet your mind, and ground you. These may benefit people who fidget or deal with constant interruptive thoughts. Additionally, it is helpful for people with ADHD and anxiety, among others, who find themselves constantly overwhelmed, distracted, and on edge from the influx of competing thoughts and subsequent worries related to stressors like deadlines.
These are also “quick and dirty” means of recalibrating your brain and body, which can be accomplished in various locations for free!
Practical Productivity by Using What's Intuitive to You.
Recording “everything” down is an approach that can be beneficial but must be accomplished with practicality in mind. If you’re driving on the highway, it’s not so simple to jot down an idea that comes to mind. However, with the advent of speech-to-text technology, more options are available to ensure ideas are not lost to the mental ether.
ADHD Jesse is a name you might recognize from social media, and this video unpacks aspects of toxic productivity and why neurotypical organizational habits are ultimately not beneficial to people with ADHD.
The same can be said about “setting alarms” for everything. The reason why some habits are more accessible is because they are more intuitively designed to meet your needs. Simply setting the alarm for everything begets a similar line of “in sight but not insight,” as mentioned before.
That is also the case for marking everything down in your calendar. Too many reminders or events in your calendar will only present the same visual overload that prompts a person with ADHD to ignore or forget items.
Time and place can be a crucial aspect of maintaining your focus. Our environment presents a lot of beneficial or challenging stimuli; it’s up to each person to identify what is or is not helpful. If a quiet space is too quiet, a library might be the wrong place to study. Conversely, a cafeteria or dorm room might be the wrong workplace setting if loud talking or blaring music is too distracting.
Sometimes, these preferred places change, just like the volume level or type of music you listen to (if at all) when you work.
Think of it this way: if you were exercising and knew you needed something upbeat and loud to motivate you to continue, classical music probably wouldn’t be your first choice. However, classical music might be the proper selection if you want to relax and unwind.
The point is that responsibilities will not disappear much like your family, friends, or coursework. How well you replenish your cognitive resources will only enhance your ability to meet the small and large tasks for the day.
Closing Thoughts on Object Constancy
I appreciate this change in the narrative regarding working memory challenges for people with ADHD; the focus is not promoting the misuse of developmental milestones. This further muddies the waters of an already over-generalized or poorly understood disorder.
I do not struggle with the existence of my coffee cup or phone; I simply forget about them due to the constant crashing waves of sensory stimuli and sporadic thoughts.
Respectfully,
Dustin.
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