Burnout sucks, and it happens to everyone.
The reasons for why we experience burnout vary. Still, the results are often the same: extreme fatigue (physically and mentally), lack of motivation, emotional dysregulation (e.g., agitation or frustration), and feeling helpless in the process.
But why is this, and what causes us to feel burnt?
What is Burnout?
Life comes with many challenges and setbacks and no instruction manual. Humans are wired to look for patterns, but often, this comes in the form of focusing on the negatives rather than the positives. Getting positive feedback on your performance is standard, but focus more closely on the criticisms rather than all of the shining good.
Are you constantly experiencing bad days?
Is focusing on your work or home life becoming too taxing?
Are you experiencing feeling overwhelmed or complete disinterest in daily tasks?
Does it feel as though you are underappreciated or unnoticed?
It's understandable to feel defeated when we find ourselves in a continued cycle of diminishing returns on our invested time, energy, and resources. However, how we bounce back and reassess the situation can make the difference between managing and becoming overwhelmed by stressors.
Burnout is a gradual but acute process of feeling overwhelmed, helpless, or unappreciated.
These symptoms become more pronounced and debilitating over time.
Stress levels and substantial emotional reactiveness increase sharply, even for mundane setbacks.
Physical, Emotional, and Behavioral Signs
Physical signs:
Feeling fatigued beyond what is typical.
Frequent illnesses, headaches, or stomach issues.
Decreased or increased appetite or sleep.
Emotional signs:
Feeling helpless, detached, trapped, or defeated.
Increased self-doubt or diminished self-esteem/efficacy.
Low motivation, satisfaction, or sense of accomplishment.
Behavioral signs:
Isolating from others or withdrawing from responsibilities.
Procrastination or avoidance of tasks (even simple ones).
Substance use to cope.
Displacing frustrations onto others.
Stress is NOT Burnout
Stressors come and go; some are more frequent (e.g., bills), and others are more specific to a time or place. Stress can be motivating or can become overwhelming. The demands can pile up, but it’s a matter of duration and severity.
Burnout is a sense of depletion that there isn’t enough of something to maintain homeostasis.
If stress is too engaged or involved, burnout is the opposite – disengaged or apathetic.
The difference is that a small river either becomes a raging torrent or dries up entirely.
Resiliency Against Burnout
Resiliency plays a significant part in this process. Our protective factors can help mitigate these difficulties, such as explicitly focusing on support networks, intelligence, positive coping mechanisms, overall optimism in our outlook, and openness to change.
Academic achievement, emotional self-regulatory skills, and coping mechanisms, and high self-esteem;
A solid connection to others for support;
an adherence to goals, an optimistic viewpoint, and a self-oriented meaning in life.
Often, the signs of burnout are felt but feel like a byproduct, such as the ongoing stress we have in life. These signs may also be overlooked as a psychological response to being overwhelmed; you are caught up in your racing thoughts, complicated feelings, and low drive as you manage a situation.
This can be significantly exacerbated when facing a problematic relationship or job.
It’s not so simple to jump ship when signs of trouble arise or become too taxing.
Feeling “trapped” in a stressful relationship or job may only reinforce the feeling of helplessness.
However, we have ways of protecting ourselves from allowing stress(ors) to accumulate, and self-care routines, hobbies, and reaching out to others are three main ways. The absence of these approaches toward fostering resilience may also indicate when we are overwhelmed for too long.
Generativity and helping others can also be essential in keeping life meaningful and allowing you to “get outside your head.”
Helps adults navigate the significant transitions in life by redefining what is important to avoid feeling stagnant.
Reaching out to help younger generations can be mutually helpful: imparting wisdom and guidance to younger people while also feeling accomplished and rejuvenated from these experiences.
Resiliency in the Face of Neurodivergent Burnout
Chronic stress combined with work commitments, masking, and inadequate support networks or insufficiently accessing these networks.
Inauthenticity can result in pent-up feelings of inadequacy, imposter phenomenon, and cognitive dissonance.
Insufficient self-disclosure in terms of acquiring accommodations (school or work) can produce a lack of needed support in order to manage various responsibilities.
Difficulties identifying or accessing support networks can compound a sense of isolation leading to withdrawal.
Establishing boundaries and expectations can help to prevent some stressors from accumulating, or allow for adequate time to process these stressors.
Using active listening and flexibility in communication.
Communicate your needs in concise ways, and don’t be afraid to draft/redraft or find outside counsel to enhance your message quality.
Plan and work with your strengths first, but don’t overlook your weaknesses.
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Differentiate between healthy and unhealthy masking techniques, including when and how to self-disclose.
Masking too much can prevent receiving needed testing or accommodations in a given setting.
It prevents others (as well as the person) from learning more about aspects of a given disability in order to collaborative work together to support that person.
Allows everyone to contribute to a more inclusive environment, promoting individual differences in a team-based environment.
Coping with Burnout
If you’re experiencing the signs of burnout – feeling depleted, struggling to maintain relationships or a job, and suffocating under an invisible weight - then it’s time to seek help.
Recognize the signs of burnout, the contributing factors, and what efforts you’ve made to combat these feelings.
Identify how you manage stress, its effectiveness, and the sources of stress.
Don’t make excuses to or for yourself; identify where and when stress is becoming a hindrance in your life.
The more specific you are, the better you can make a plan and change the situation of your responsiveness to it.
Differentiate between what you can and cannot control, and good or bad stress.
Good stress is something that motivates you; a challenge that strengthens you.
Not all stress is “bad,” nor are you able to minimize or avoid all forms of stress.
Identify what you can control as stress in your life and remove it or adjust how you approach it.
If something it outside of your control, your responsiveness to it will only result in a net negative.
Reframe problems, look at the bigger picture, and adjust how you approach stressful situations that you cannot ultimately control.
Finding acceptance in what you cannot change can be liberating; find the positive whenever possible.
Focus on the right solution for your problem – save yourself the unnecessary cognitive strain.
Reframing allows for fresh insights which can boost motivation, willingness, and novelty in finding solutions.
Prevention is the Key to Burnout
We all face stressors in our lives, they are unavoidable. However, it’s a matter of how we address them, the strategies that we use, and the supports we access when necessary. Perspective is crucial; how we frame our problems will directly impact our willingness to address them – control and learning when situations are outside of our control.
If it feels like you are in a repetitive cycle of experiencing setbacks, rebuilding, and then reexperiencing them, it’s a sign that there is something fundamentally causing you to burnout.
If you find yourself putting off
self-care,
pushing others away,
feeling depleted or easily agitated,
and an overall sense of helplessness in various aspects of your life…
Then it’s time to seek support.
Let me know in the comments your thoughts, experiences, and strategies!
Respectfully,
Dustin.
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