In my last post, I discussed self-advocacy and its importance in the daily life of a person with a disability. This is, in part, due to the ongoing list of needs a person faces that can be left unmet, causing that person additional stress resulting in physical, mental, and social-emotional effects.
Self-advocacy is a powerful yet scary skill set that people with disabilities may struggle to harness at times, and often, it is because of difficulties in understanding what these needs actually are, effective communication, and/or the confidence needed to speak up.
This blog post will take this conversation further to highlight some of the negative side effects of persistent stressors in life that are not mitigated, as well as tips for managing stress and anxiety that you can implement into your everyday life.
What is Stress, and What Causes It?
Stress is a response to external situations that illicit a “fight or flight (and freeze)” evolutionary response within the body. You react to stressors in your life physically, mentally, and emotionally as a reaction to small and large life circumstances.
Losing your job, getting married or having a child, experiencing the death of someone, moving into a new environment, and others are all major life changes.
Anything that pushes you outside of your comfort zone and incorporates big steps in life (positive or negative) can come in the form of stress, and it’s important to understand how we cope with these changes.
When we experience stress (large or small), our body becomes reactive to a perceived threat, releasing stress hormones (cortisol, epinephrine, and norepinephrine) to slow digestion and send all available resources to respond to this threat.
The result may take the form of high blood pressure, tension in the body, and overall alertness in the moment.
Still, there are also longer-lasting effects: headache, exhaustion or difficulties sleeping, continued muscle tension, and indigestion, among others.
It’s important to note that stress - or performance anxiety - can be a beneficial response to increase productive focus; however, when left unchecked, chronic stress can manifest itself in other health problems, including:
High blood pressure;
Heart disease;
Anxiety or Mood disorders; and
Gastrointestinal disorders.
As for what causes stress, it can vary depending on the person, but a commonality between all people is how we cope when life’s stressors become overwhelming. Some common examples of stressors are:
Money or financial future (personal and the overall economy);
Overall health - mental, physical, and social-emotional (loneliness);
Familial dynamics and responsibilities;
Career or job, and
The environment.
Again, the severity of these items (and others) is highly dependent on the person, but for the sake of perspective, these are some of the most common forms of stress in a person’s life. We can also factor in
age, race, gender, sex, sexual identity, religion, socioeconomic status, education, disability, etc, intersect when it comes to a person's unique experiences navigating their life.
Like disability, stress comes at a cost. “Cost,” in this case, does not just mean monetarily; time is our valuable resource! Often, we are pushed to internalize the idea that self-care must take a backseat to productivity.
Consider how you use your time off from work and the guilt you might feel actually taking the time to prioritize your hobbies rather than doing something “productive?”
How many educational professionals read and respond to emails during winter or summer breaks?
How many people still report to work despite feeling sick out of fear of losing their daily pay or having to use the few sick days they might have?
In some cases, how many people are facing a chronic health issue that is being overlooked instead of taking FMLA to actually treat the issue?
“Man, the bravest animal and most prone to suffer, does not deny suffering as such: he wills it, he even seeks it out, provided he is shown a meaning for it, a purpose of suffering.”
Friedrich Nietzsche, On the Genealogy of Morals (1887)
p. 120, Cambridge edition, translated by Carol Diethe;
p. 144, Penguin edition,
translated by Michael Scarpitta
How to Manage Stress
It goes without saying that it’s almost impossible to always prevent stress; however, it is possible to mitigate its effects through effective self-care strategies, mindfulness, and accessing support networks.
To start, perspective is key when it comes to how we assess stressors and evaluate their purpose in our progress. In other words, is a source of stress ultimately a good thing that can be harnessed into better performance? Or is this stressor - when left unchecked - going to become debilitating in some manner and have long-lasting effects?
Resiliency is our ability to bounce back from life’s stress, and it’s fundamental in how we cope with life when life happens. Part of our responsiveness to stress in a positive way is how we frame the situation.
If framed from the mindset that the situation cannot be resolved or that this is just “something I’m going to have to live with,” then no, little will likely be done about it.
Our self-talk systems may play a larger role in our decision-making and prioritizing our needs and problems.
A growth mindset allows for change, acceptance of feedback, and critical self-evaluation.
Integrating outside perspectives may help us find a solution to a problem that has long been left unchanged.
Engaging in avoidance-related behaviors will only make the situation bigger.
Accepting ownership can result in newer levels of self-knowledge.
Allowing ourselves a degree of understanding and grace for our shortcomings and reshaping our perspective to be forgiving of ourselves.
Self-knowledge means knowing your values, strengths, weaknesses, and what motivates you.
Accepting weaknesses may be the step toward future growth – prioritizing your planning to handle stressors with an action plan.
When a weakness is challenged, be aware of your thoughts and self-limiting statements (i.e., I can’t do this!), and reframe the barrier.
“How can I handle this?”
Repurpose your understanding of “stress” to include the positives of being challenged and working outside your comfort zone.
For instance, a person with a language-based disability is considering going to college. Still, they know they will struggle tremendously with the expectation that they must be self-motivated and self-determined to make decisions.
Identifying support structures on campus based on their needs and collecting contact information can be a major step forward when times become difficult.
Accessibility Office, mental health counseling, etc.
Maintaining a line of communication with their professor to ask questions or seek additional support during office hours.
Or scheduling tutoring support for the content they struggle with the most.
Getting involved in student clubs will help facilitate social growth and overall buy-in to the institution.
I am here to help with your post-secondary planning! Click here to learn more.
Tips for Managing Stress and Anxiety
You can immediately start by recognizing the patterns in your thinking and how you communicate with yourself and others.
Journaling - One way to hold yourself accountable is to journal your thoughts, which can be cathartic in the present moment and allow you to keep a running record as time passes.
Focus specifically on your emotions, summarize your thoughts or ideas, and don’t edit!
If someone does something that makes you mad, state the emotion plainly and leave it written out.
Bullet points are good for getting a lot of ideas down quickly or taking on a more narrative format if you have the time and mental clarity to explore ideas further.
Journaling allows for time to process and recognize patterns in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors over a span of time. It’s sometimes easy to forget these details after days, weeks, or months pass.
Speak aloud your negative thoughts if they are intrusive, or say to yourself, STOP.
Intrusive thoughts can be disruptive and cause additional anxiety; however, recognizing them as just that - intrusive - can help alleviate some of these hard feelings.
Some people find allowing the thought process to run its course helps, while others vocalize to themselves to “stop this!”
Recognize the signs of rumination and set a time limit on these thoughts.
Switch the negative for positive (or at least neutral) wording.
Change the “I” to “you” when you try to motivate yourself.
Don’t resort to words like “hate;” find a different word like “annoyed.”
Meditation and mindfulness exercises can help alleviate stress, make you more grounded in the present, and allow you to calm your mind and body.
Check-in with yourself throughout the day.
Recognize the pattern of negative self-speak, and mindfully communicate with yourself using more positive language when it's most likely to occur.
Recognize if these thought patterns magnify an issue, catastrophize your fears, personalize your role in a situation, or polarize your thinking into “all or nothing” terms.
Prioritize your time and energy - rebalancing life’s responsibilities into a configuration that allows you to spend energy to accomplish tasks and replenish that energy with hobbies and activities you enjoy.
Setting boundaries can include the time spent on a task, too.
Set a timer when you’re upset, allow yourself that amount of time to feel your feelings, and then regroup and move on.
Being strict with your time may help combat disorganization, leaving you more time to engage in your replenishing hobbies.
What Have We Learned Today?
Stress is a constant in our lives, and we cannot always avoid it. We can plan ahead to mitigate some stressors by incorporating strategies and support networks. We could find a net positive if we reframe our thinking to be more understanding of ourselves and avoid demonizing (some) stressors.
The goal is change, which requires us to work outside our comfort zone; however, if we focus on learning from the challenge rather than the all-or-nothing of “failure,” we can achieve more than originally anticipated. We have to possess the “want” in order to take action.
We are not our own individual islands of struggle and consequence; we ought to be a part of something larger than ourselves and share in the collective experience of existence.
Respectfully,
Dustin.
Fantastic